How do we make decisions as we go through life? It seems to me that there are a number of factors that come into play.
In simple terms we could say that there are three big considerations:
- Are we tuned in to what is going on, physically, emotionally and spiritually?
- How self-aware and confident are we? This will greatly affect the way we respond to what's going on?
- What else is going on that is fighting for our time and attention?
Tuning in physically is about taking notice to what's going on at a material level. As we walk down the street, do we notice the elderly person in need of a helping hand? When we buy products do we pay attention to how they've been produced? Do we read the paper and relate what's going on in the world to our journey?
On an emotional level, lets get back to some pretty essential basics. If all of life and the universe is joined in consciousness and our connection to that consciousness is by our heart, then it seems to me that our emotions or feelings will tell us a great deal about what we could and should be doing with our time and resources. Do we feel guilt, frustration, anger, compassion or sorrow? Is the feeling weak or strong? Whatever feeling we have, it seems sensible to name it and then make sense of it - unless of course we have confidence in our intuition and the ability to respond without analysis. This is a bit like riding a bike. In the early days we have to tell ourselves to gain balance, get the pedal to the top, push down hard with our feet and so on. Later we just do it.
Sometimes we get the emotional and spiritual tuning mixed up and indeed they are connected. In fact the way it works is that our spiritual tuning drives our emotional tuning. In other words, what we believe affects how we feel. If we spend no time at all paying attention to what we believe then our emotions will be driven by the beliefs held deep in our psyche, probably passed down to us from our parents, teachers, friends and society. So the key is to make the spiritual - emotional connection and pay attention to this, particularly during reflection (which is a helpful component of our regular spiritual practice). If our emotions are troubling us, then it is seriously worth asking what beliefs our emotions are pointing to and considering whether these beliefs are appropriate and serving us and others in a positive way.
self awareness and self confidence
These two factors could easily be considered separately but there is value in looking at them as a valuable partnership. Self awareness is about knowing who we are. This can range from self knowledge at a purely functional level through to knowledge about our preferences, character, beliefs, values, ambitions and so on. The more we come to know, develop and love who we are, the more use we will be to others. So in a recent situation, I witnessed an elderly lady collapse in a public building. There were many other people around yet many were also elderly and frail. Instinctively I moved to a place where I was accessible but did not interfere in the immediate help. The reason for this was my self knowledge. I knew that, whilst I had some "out of date" first aid training, there were also more capable people (including doctors) around. However, I knew that there were very few strong and willing people to help lift the lady if this was required. Correspondingly, I placed myself in a suitable position to help if that was required. All situations are like this to some degree or another. Even when we are asked to do something. The question is around what is needed and what are we able to offer, to be considered in the mix of who else could be involved. Knowing what we have to offer and being prepared to help in the most appropriate situations and manner is the key to self confidence - which naturally arises as we see our service being useful and (where appropriate) appreciated.
demands on our time
The big challenge for most of us is that there are more demands on our time and resources than we can possibly respond to. However, this will vary from time to time and place to place. I know that if I want my wife to relax, one of the best ways to help is to take her away from our family home, where there is always something "more important" to do.
If our lives are so full of urgent "stuff" then the chances are we will never seem to be able to respond to the important challenges and opportunities. And the daft thing is that we set ourselves up to fail in this respect most of the time. We naturally fill our time, homes and workplaces with things that need our attention. Isn't it obvious that the size of our house, the number of possessions we have, our cars, our diaries and so on all limit our opportunity to respond. If we frequently feel unable to help others or do the things that are important to us, then we should actively clear space.
in conclusion
Our calling is a fluid experience ranging from the big things we do with our life, right through to day-to-day challenges and opportunities. We can choose to respond effectively to "calls" by first of all hearing them, then making informed choices about where to respond and in what way. Our choices will be most effective when they are based on self knowledge and acted upon with confidence. Making sure there is sufficient time and space in our lives to respond effectively and proportionally is the key to being satisfied and at peace with our world.
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